Can Kim defend Drakken when he's put on trial by talking critters for 'crimes against inhumanity'? Funny Animals meet So The Courtroom Drama in the first installment of The Last Kim Possible Story! Whatever you do, do not reveal the surprise shock ending!
Lurker: Greetings. I am The Lurker! Unseen, yet ever present! I see all, and know much. Nothing escapes my omnipresent eyes. I am always watching, always waiting for the moment when I make my presence known. Such a moment has now arrived, for I have seen the fate of Kim Possible! Know you, O Kim Possible fan, that in the waning days of her long and storied career, Kim Possible faced challenges unimaginable! It all started innocently enough, when...
Voice from off camera: There he is! There's the guy who was peeping into my daughter's room!
Lurker: Excuse me. Hey! The curtains were open AND she had a 40 inch TV! That's practically an invitation!
Voice: Get him!!
Lurker: Ah. It appears they will not listen to reason. Enjoy the story. Gottogo! Hnf hnf hfff! Oh yeah hff! Don't reveal the ending!
Voice: Stop! Police!!
Opening - Kim and Ron at Ron's house. They're watching TV.
Ron: Commercial! All right! Snack break! You want any snackage, Kim?
Kim: That's okay. I don't want to spoil my between meal snackage.
Ron walks to the kitchen.
Ron: Suit yourself!
Doorbell rings.
Ron (off camera): Kim, can you get that? I'm kind of busy!
Kim stops in the kitchen and sees what Ron's doing. He's trying to pry Bueno Nacho food out of the freezer. It's stuffed full of the Mexican meals.
Kim: Um, Ron, why is your freezer full of Bueno Nacho?
Ron: Oh. That. They're going to be closed for the holiday, so I thought I'd stock up.
Kim: Ah. Need a hand?
Doorbell rings again. Ron struggles with the food.
Ron: No, no. I got it! Almost! Errrr! Just answer that, 'kay?
Kim answers the door. It's a delivery man with a package for Ron.
Kim delivers it to Ron, who's now chiseling the frozen food out of the food glacier it's trapped in.
Kim: It's for you, Nanook.
Ron turns and takes the package.
Ron: Coolio! It's the ferretmobile I got off epaytoomuch!
The freezer rumbles.
Kim: Uh, Ron?
Ron: What?
The freezer spills all it's contents onto Ron and the floor.
Ron: Heh. Told you I'd get it!
Sound effect: SPLAT
Kim: What was that?
Ron: Sounds like something hit the screen door! You didn't leave the front door open, did..
A carrier pigeon (Mercury from Valiant) lies on the ground in front of the screen door.
Ron:..you? Oh my gosh! Are you okay, little fella?
Rufus sticks his head out of Ron's pocket.
The dizzy pigeon gets on his feet.
Mercury: Ohhhh! Thank you, sir. May I have another?
Rufus: He'sfine.
Ron notices the message the pigeon is carrying.
Ron: Hey, little dude. You got something for me?
Mercury: Here you go, sir! Have a smashing day, laddie!
The pigeon flies off. A bit erratic at first, but he manages to fly in a sort of line.
Ron: You going to be okay? Guess he is.
Kim: What is it, Ron? Spill!
Rufus finally sees the mound of melting Bueno Nacho, and dives in.
Ron: It's some sort of...summons?
Ron: Hey, Rufus! Save some of that for later!
Kim: A summons?
Ron: Uh, yeah. Ronald Stoppable and Kimberly Possible are ordered to appear as witnesses in the court of the USA...
Ron & Kim both read it (Kim reads it over Ron's shoulder).
Ron & Kim: ...The United Species Alliance?!?
Ron and Kim look at each other, then both look at Rufus. Rufus is gorging himself on Bueno Nacho.
Ron & Kim: Rufus!
Rufus stops eating.
Rufus: Uhoh.
Theme Song
Scene 1 - Kim and Ron in the air. They wear harnesses, which their hands are wrapped around, kind of like parachutes (but they're not parachutes).
Kim: So Rufus knew nothing about this?
Ron: Nada. But whatever it is has to be pretty serious, to bring the wrath of the USA down on your head! Having people mad at you is one thing, but getting animals angry with you? Brrr!
Kim: I'm sure you're exaggerating, Ron!
Ron: Am I, Kim? Remember that pony ride when we were kids?
Kim: Of course! I got to ride Destiny...
Flashback. A young Kim rides a white horse with a flowing mane.
Ron: Yeah, and I got Despair!
Kim: Wasn't it Mr. Pears?
Ron: Whatever. He took me on a ride I'll never forget!
Flashback. Mr. Pears is a black horse who snorts air out of his nostrils. The only thing that softens his features, yet which incongruity makes his appearance even more bizarre, and thus even scarier, is a black hat with a flower on it. Mr. Pears runs at full gallop around the corral. A young, screaming Ron holds on to the bridal horn for dear life.
Kim: He was just giving you an exciting ride! And you did real well! You held on the entire time!
Ron: Yeah, I held on. To everything except my bladder!
Kim: Well, here we are!
Kim and Ron arrive at the animals' city. Anthropomorphic cats, dogs, bears, foxes, ducks, etc. etc. are everywhere going about their lives, just like people in any city.
The camera pulls back and we see the giant bird that gave Kim and Ron a ride.
Kim: Thanks for the ride, Aeron!
Aeron: My pleasure, Kim! I would have never found my egg after it rolled out of my mountaintop nest without your help!
Kim: Just had to find a giant egg in the middle of hundreds of boulders! Not quite needle in a haystack. No big.
Ron: Well, at least this'll be better than that secret ape city!
Kim: How so?
Ron: They have cable here.
Kim: We're not here for cable, Ron! We...
Ron’s distracted. He stares at a female foxlike creature with blue fur and long, flowing red hair on top her head.
Kim:…Ron, what are you doing? Ron!!
Ron: Huh? Wha?
Kim: This isn’t the Middleton Zoo, Ron! You can’t stare at the animals all day and imitate them, like you do in the monkey house!
A golden trout with a yellow dorsal area at the front of his body (yellow head) joins the blue fox.
Yellow Trout: Do you believe the nerve of that guy?
Blue Fox: I don’t know. I thought he was kind of cute!
Yellow Trout: You’re joking, right?
Ron: Kim, it’s not what you think! I was staring because…
A low-flying plane zooms over them.
VROOOOOM
Kim: Hey!
The duck pilot (Launchpad McQuack) leans out of the cockpit.
Launchpad McQuack: Sorry!
A horse, wearing clothes, runs past on all fours (unlike all the other animals, who are on two legs).
Kim: Oh my gosh! He must have spooked that horse!
Kim fires her hair dryer grapple gun and swings through the air after the horse. Kim lands on the horse's back.
Kim: It's okay, boy. You can relax.
Horse: Huh?
The horse stops and stands on two legs. Kim jumps off.
Horse: I happen to be in a hurry, lady! You mind?
Kim: I-I was just trying to help!
Horse gallops off.
Horse: Humans!
Ron: We're not in Kansaston anymore, Kim!
In the distance, the plane goes VTOL, hovers and lands in the square in front of the courthouse.
Ron points out one of the sights.
Ron: Oh! Look! They have Bueno Nacho! They really ARE everywhere!
Kim: We're here on business, Ron!
Ron: I'm just saying, Kim! They don't have the same holidays we do. It's probably open!
Kim and Ron approach the courthouse. The plane opens it's door.
Kim: Let's go, Nacoboy!
Kim and Ron walk up the courthouse steps.
Voice from behind: Well, well, fancy meeting you here...
Kim and Ron turn around and face a manacled Drakken and Shego, flanked by animal guards (dog, pig). Both Drakken and Shego have their wrists and legs shackled. Metal restraints completely cover Shego's gloves.
Drakken: ...My erstwhile teen foe!
Kim: Drakken!
Ron: And Shego?!!
Scene 2 - In the courtroom. Various animal characters populate the court and the public gallery. Kim and Ron sit in the audience area behind the defendant's table, where Drakken and Shego sit along with the public defender, Iago, the parrot from Aladdin. The prosecutor, a fox, sits at the other table.
Kim: Wow. Looks like nearly every intelligent animal is here! This must be big!
Ron surveys the crowd.
Ron: Is that Chippy back there? What’s that he's wearing?
Shego: So, does Drakken have a chance?
Iago: Oh, sure! I know the judge. They said it was a bear. It must be Winnie! He's an old softie! Don't worry!
The bailiff, a wolf, announces the judge.
Wolf bailiff: All rise for Judge Liverlips McGrowl.
Judge Liverlips McGrowl takes his place at the bench.
Iago: Uh oh. We're screwed.
Judge Liverlips McGrowl: We're here today to decide the fate of one Doctor Drakken for crimes against inhumanity.
Iago: We're really screwed!
Judge: How does the defendant plead?
Drakken: I reject this entire court! I also wish to protest my inhumane treatment! I've-I've been treated like an animal!
The entire court goes silent.
Pause
Iago: That went over well! Nice knowing ya, pal!
Kim: Ron, this doesn't look good.
Ron: What's the problem, Kim? Drakken finally gets what he deserves! Works for me!
Kim: Yeah, about that...
Kim rises to address the judge.
Kim: Your honor, if I may, what would happen to Drakken if he was convicted?
Judge: He would suffer our most severe penalty, Miss?
Kim: Possible. Kim Possible. If it please the court, I'd like to sign on myself and Ron Stoppable as lawyers for the defense.
Court erupts in murmurs.
Ron: Kim! What are you doing??!
Kim: Help me out, Ron! We have to do this! Drakken may be a bad guy, but even he doesn’t deserve ‘the most severe penalty’!
Ron: But, Kim, he's Drakken, our enemy, and...
Kim (puppy dog pout): Please?
Ron: Oh, not the puppy dog...
A dog in the audience stares at Ron.
Ron: …I mean…Oh, forget it! I know when I'm beat! Okay, I'll help you defend Drakken!
Kim and Ron take their place at the defendant's table.
Shego: You just HAVE to play the hero, don't you, Kimmie?
Drakken: Fine! But we shall never speak of this outside of this courtroom!
Kim: Whatever, you two! Your honor, I question the jurisdiction of this court to try the defendant, Drakken.
Prosecutor Fox: Your honor, the defendant has committed crimes in multiple jurisdictions all over the world, including several where our populace lives, as we shall show the court.
In the gallery, Foxey Loxey sits with Runt the pig and Chicken Little.
Foxey Loxey: That's my Dad!
Judge: Overruled, Miss Possible. Any other objections?
Kim: Um, just that, how can Drakken have a jury of his peers when, ah, this is the jury pool!
Kim motions with her arm to the animals in the gallery.
Judge: Oh, that's already been decided. Bring in the jury!
Prof. Ramesh, Prof. Chen, Mr. Dr. Possible, Prof. Dementor, Monkey Fist, Dr. Bortel, Jack Hench, DnAmy and Prof. Acari file in to the jury box.
Kim: Dad? You're part of this, too?!
Mr. Dr. Possible: Sorry, Kim! As a scientist, I'm bound to obey the laws of man and nature. Or at least one of those.
Drakken: Et tu, Monkey Fist?
Monkey Fist: Sorry, old man! They made me an offer I couldn’t refuse - all the bananas I and my monkey ninjas can eat!
The monkey ninjas in the gallery whoop it up - with bananas.
Prof. Dementor: They offered you bananas? For me, it vas schnitzel!
Prof. Dementor rubs his hands and stares straight at Runt. Runt squeals and runs off.
Foxey Loxey: Runt! Wait! Wiener schnitzel is made from veal, not pork!
Kim: Your honor, I object! The defendant has attacked most of the members of the jury more than once!
Prosecutor Fox: Your honor, I'm prepared to prove that the jury is acceptable.
Judge: Proceed, Prosecutor Fox.
Fox: Thank you, your honor. Drakken? Excuse me, Dr. Drakken. I must confess before this trial I had not heard of you. I know everyone here is familiar with DnAmy's creations, and when Prof. Dementor menaced the entire world with his cybertronic robots...
Drakken: That wasn't Dementor! That was me!
Fox: Come again?
Drakken: It was my genius that created the cybertronic terrors that threatened the whole world!
Shego: Drakken, you idiot!
Drakken: What? It was so me!
Fox: I submit, your honor, that as the defendant has attacked everyone in the world, these jurors are just as acceptable as any others that could be found.
Judge: Overruled, Miss Possible. The jurors stay.
Drakken: Oh. Snap.
Shego: Way to go, genius!
Drakken: Don’t blame me, Shego. I was outfoxed! Because he’s a fox! That’s what he does!
Ron: Kim, I think we're gonna need help!
Kim: I think you're right!
Kim on her Kimmunicator.
Kim: Wade, here’s the sitch. We need backup - of the legal kind! And quick!
Scene 3 - Kim welcomes the new defense attorney, Effie M. Bondie, a female lawyer with short, blonde, wavy hair who wears spectacles.
Kim: Thank you so much for coming, Effie!
Effie: Ah'm always prepared to help those who've helped me, Kim.
Ron: This - THIS - is who you got to help us? She's the one who should be on trial, after she...
Kim: Ron! She's an excellent attorney! She was just doing her job in those other cases! I'm sorry, Effie!
Effie: It's okay, Kim. Ah get that a lot.
Shego: What a team we make! A cheerleader, her bumbling sidekick, me - a villain, and a lawyer most people despise! Drakken's got absolutely nothing to worry about!
Kim: Would it kill you to be positive for once?
Shego: Probably.
Scene 4 - Testimony begins in the prosecution's case. Various animals take the stand to give testimony against Drakken.
Mouse: When Drakken melted the house of cheese, we thought it was a great day. But look at me now. Look at me! Sob!
Camera pans back. The mouse is grossly obese.
Mountain goat (seen in profile): I had a home once in the mountains. Until Drakken blew up his mountain lair! It was such a great home, too. So warm.
Prosecutor Fox: Mmm, I think that was due to the nuclear reactor.
Mountain goat (from the front. The goat has three eyes): Really?
Bear: Once, Drakken stole a lake, and all the fish in it, too! Oh, those poor fish!
Prosecutor Fox: Thank you, sir. That will be all.
Bear: It was terrible! I mean, I could have starved to death if…
Fox: THAT WILL BE ALL, SIR.
Bear: What? Oh, right. Sorry.
Cat: It was a dark day indeed when Drakken enlarged his dog, Commodore Puddles, to giant size! How were we cats to deal with that?
A huge Commodore Puddles chases cats.
Dog: You think you had problems? Puddles' fleas grew to humongous proportions, too!
Camera pans back. A very large flea is attached to the dog's side.
Roachie appears.
Ron: Roachie! How have you been? (Ron makes roach noises)
Roachie: (Roach noises)
Ron: Ah. Eating garbage, that whole ‘circle of life’ thing! I gotcha!
Lion: Roar!
In the gallery, Timon plays a recording of Simba roaring. Pumbaa laughs but Simba is not amused. Nala rolls her eyes.
Simba: Will you two cut it out? You’re embarrassing me!
Ron: O-kayyyy. Um, Roachie, what are you doing here? (Ron makes roach noises)
Roachie: (Roach noises)
Ron: You're interpreting for the head lice?
Roachie interviews a dish (lice are on the dish). (Roach noises)
Ron sits at the defense table.
Ron: The lice..say..Drakken's shampoo..took over their minds..and forced them to serve Drakken?! Oh, come on! When are we going to cross-examine??
Kim: Ron, Effie knows what she's doing! Right, Effie?
Effie: Fox is trying to goad us, Kim. If we attempt to discredit the cute little critters, the jury will turn against our client. Besides, they don't have evidence of any direct acts Drakken took against animals.
Ron: Uh, I think that may be about to change!
Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel (from Lilo and Stitch) is wheeled in. He's strapped to a gurney and wears a muzzle/restraint like Hannibal Lechter. The courtroom audience murmurs.
Prosecutor Fox: Dr. Hamsterviel, we understand you have direct evidence of Drakken's anti-animal acts. Is that true?
Hamsterviel: Mmm mf mmph
Fox: Ah. Sorry.
Fox takes the muzzle off.
Dr. Hamsterviel: I was once a happy little hamster. Until I met Dr. Drakken! He - he turned me into the monster you see before you! Sniff
Crowd gasps: Ohhhh
Fox smiles.
Fox: Your witness.
Effie M. Bondie: With pleasure. Dr. Hamsterviel, do you recognize this?
Effie clicks a remote and a screen in the courtroom turns on. The screen shows a photo of Hamsterviel with one of his take over the world devices.
Dr. Hamsterviel: Where did you get that?
Effie: Here's an enlargement.
Paper reads "Dr. Hamsterviel's plan to take over the world."
Dr. Hamsterviel: Many people have take over the world plans! So?
Effie: Pay particular attention to the small print.
Another enlargement. Paper reads "A plan by Dr. Hamsterviel with absolutely no credit given to Dr. Drakken."
Dr. Hamsterviel: Lies! All lies!
Effie: Oh, really? Then what about this?...And this?...And let's not forget this!
Effie clicks through photo after photo of Hamsterviel and his schemes.
Dr. Hamsterviel: That's just...it's...
Effie: Last, and certainly least...
Effie clicks on a photo of Hamsterviel in hamster underwear, decorated with tiny pics of hamster chow.
Dr. Hamsterviel: Hey!
Crowd laughs.
Effie smiles at Prosecutor Fox, who fumes.
Effie: That will be all, your honor.
Hamsterviel is wheeled out of the courtroom.
Dr. Hamsterviel: I'll get you for that! I'll get you all!
Guard attempts to muzzle Hamsterviel.
Guard: Party's over, pal!
Dr. Hamsterviel: I'll..mph! Wait! I want to hire you! Call me! Mphff! Mmn
Ron: Score one for our side! Booyah!
Kim: It was a team effort, Ron!
Kim turns to talk to Lilo and Stitch. Jumba and Pleakley are also there.
Kim: Way to go, Lilo!
Lilo: No problem, Kim. Us world-saving girls have to stick together!
Stitch: Ohana!
Kim: What?
Lilo: Ohana means family.
Kim: That’s sweet.
Jumba: Speaking of family, we also brought in the little one’s family. They wished to see their humble breadgatherer ‘in action’ as you Earthers say.
Kim: You-what?
A female mole rat and two young mole rats stand up on the seat behind Lilo and wave to Rufus. Rufus pokes his head out, waves back and smiles a big ‘ol grin. Ron and Kim are surprised.
Ron: Rufus, you d-Rufus! Way to go, my man!
Ron high-fives Rufus.
Kim: Ron, I thought when Rufus wasn’t eating he was sleeping in your pocket?
Ron (serious face): I’m as surprised and shocked as you are, Kim, at this turn of events.
Ron (happy face): Alright, Rufus! Down low! There we go!
Kim: Shhh! Court’s back in session.
Scene 5 - Testimony against Drakken continues.
Prosecutor Fox: The prosecution calls the American Dragon to the stand.
American Dragon: All right! Yo, the AmDrag is in the hiz-zay!
Fox: Mr. Dragon, can you describe the events of April 8th?
American Dragon: Them nasty robots were all up in here, so I was like 'how ya like me now?' with my tail and my flame breath! Yah! Hee-yah!
The American Dragon makes karate chop moves.
Fox: So you..fought the cybertronic robots? Why?
American Dragon: Yo, it's my job to protect the magical creatures, dig?...Uh, I mean the magically wonderful creatures of New York! Yeah, that's it!
Fox: So the cybertronic creations were attacking the animals of New York and you defended them?
American Dragon: You got it, homes!
Fox: Thank you, Mr. Dragon. Your turn.
Defense Attorney Effie M. Bondie: Mr. Dragon, did you see the defendant, Dr. Drakken, with the robots?
Dragon: No, but everyone knows he...
Effie: Move to strike that comment, your honor!
Judge: The jury will disregard that statement. Just answer the question, Mr. Dragon. A simple yes or no will do.
Dragon: Uh, no.
Effie: And did you witness the defendant order the robots from afar, by means of a transmission or any other communicative device?
Dragon: No.
Effie: Thank you. That will be all.
The American Dragon leaves the stand and talks to the prosecutor.
Dragon: So, how'd I do?
Fox: Fine, fine.
Dragon: Oh yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about! The AmDrag does it again! Holla!
Ron: Dude, why do you talk like that?
Dragon: Like what?
Ron: Like such a stereotype?
Dragon: Stereotype? Yo, the AmDrag is keepin' it real! He...I mean I...help me. You have got to help me! The writers have absolutely no idea what to do with me!
Kim and Ron look at the dragon, then look at each other, and then they both inch their chairs away from the dragon, as they want nothing to do with him. The American Dragon hangs his head.
Dragon: Awww, man!
Ron: Well, that wasn't so bad! This could be easier than I thought.
Kim: Not so fast, Ron! Look!
Fox: The prosecution calls Bambi to the stand.
Ron: Bambi?? No way!!
Fox: Thank you for being here today. I know how hard this must be for you.
Bambi: You're so kind. Thank you.
Fox: If you could, relate the events of that fateful day.
Bambi: The-the day HE came...Dr. Drakken...and took my mother from me! Sniff Sob!
Fox: Yes, I know this is painful.
Bambi blows his nose.
Bambi: HONK
Bambi: And..and ever since that day..Thumper..lost some of his thumpiness! He..he's been..less thumpy! BAWLLLL
Fox offers a tissue.
Fox: There there.
Fox: Your witness, Ms. Bondie.
Kim: Hold on, Effie! You're actually going to cross-examine Bambi???
Effie: Ah have to Kim! We're losing the jury!
Members of the jury are crying, tearing up, dabbing their eyes, sniffing. DnAmy is bawling her eyes out.
DnAmy: Wahh! That poor widdle deer!
Effie approaches Bambi. Kim and Ron stay seated at the defense table.
Ron: Ice in her veins, Kim! Ice in her veins!
Effie: Ah think we all feel for your loss, Bambi. But is it possible you misidentified the perpetrator?
Bambi: No! It was him! I know it!
Effie: Ah know, with such a painful tragedy, you need someone to blame. But, sir, the events in question happened many years ago. Long before there ever was a Dr. Drakken. Correct?
Bambi: Yes, but...
Effie: So there's no way Dr. Drakken could have done the act in question, could he?
Bambi: No, I don't...But it was him! He..he could have used time travel! He's Dr, Drakken! He does things like that!
Effie back at the defense table.
Effie: Sigh. Well, ah tried, Kim.
Kim: You did great, Effie! Well, as great as anyone could, considering the circumstances.
Shego: He' s a goner, isn't he?
Kim: Shego, don't be so negative! It's not over yet! There's still a long way to go!
Ron: I can't believe the jury actually bought that! I mean, what a load of...
Ron notices Drakken fondling a deertail keychain. While Drakken's wrists are shackled together, and to his waist, he can still move his hands together and reach his pants pocket.
Drakken: Hmm hmm hm hmmm
Ron: ..Wait, is that a deertail..?
Drakken smiles, then pockets the keychain.
Ron: Uh, guys..?
Kim: What?
Drakken whistles innocently.
Ron: Nah. Forget it. Couldn't be.
A fly buzzes Drakken and Shego. While shackled, Drakken and Shego still are able to move their hands/arms somewhat (although Shego's hands/plasma gloves are completely covered by her restraints), but they can't move their arms near or above their heads to swat the fly.
Drakken: Ah! Cursed thing! This whole place needs a good fumigation! Lousy, flea-ridden...
Drakken sees the dog guard glaring at him. He smiles weakly and shuts up.
Drakken: Heh. Nice doggie.
The fly continues to buzz them, especially Shego.
Shego: Ahhh! Stoppable! A little help here!
Ron, Kim and Effie are studying transcripts. Ron looks up.
Ron: Swat it yourself, Shego!
Shego holds up her shackles. They reach her chest.
Shego: Yeah, got a little problem with that!
Ron: Oh for!
Ron stands next to Shego, leans over and tries to swat the fly.
Ron: There! Almost got it! Hold still!
Shego: I am holding still, you..!
Ron: I meant the fly!
Ron crawls onto the defendant's table. Shego has to move her head to avoid Ron.
Shego: Hey! Watch it!
Ron finally nails the fly.
Ron: Aha! Got it!
Kim looks up from her transcript.
Kim: Got what, Ron?
Ron: Oh, I just got...
Prosecutor Fox: The court calls Maggie to the stand. Maggie? Maggie the Fly?
Ron stops, and looks worried.
Ron: ...Nothing. Never mind.
Kim looks slightly annoyed and goes back to studying the transcript.
Fox: Hm. Thought she was here. Oh well. Moving on.
Drakken and Shego giggle. Ron's shocked.
Ron: You-you did that on purpose!
Drakken and Shego look like innocent little angels, complete with halos over their heads.
Drakken: Who, us?
Scene 6 - Testimony against Drakken concludes.
Forest creatures (2 birds, a rabbit, a skunk and a beaver) take the witness stand.
Prosecutor Fox: What happened on that day in May?
Rabbit: Drakken attacked our home!
Skunk: In the forest.
Beaver: He blew it up!
Birds: Tweet Tweet!
Fox: And how do you know it was Drakken?
Rabbit: We have proof!
Skunk: Photographs.
Beaver: Highly incriminating photographs!
Birds: Tweet!
The photos are displayed on screen. It's Drakken, Shego, his henchmen and another woman, in the forest. Fox points to the photo.
Shego: Hey, I remember that day! But where'd those photos come from?
Drakken: My mother wanted a keepsake. She had an instant camera, so...
Shego: And then she leaves the photos behind?? Gah! Family will be the death of us!
Fox: Lady and Gentlemen of the jury, I draw your attention to the defendant, Drakken, and his weapon, the Sonic Disruptor, that he used to blast the forest home of our witnesses.
Fox (to the forest animals): Thank you, good citizens! All yours!
Effie: Defense declines to...hold on.
Kim: Effie?
Effie: Ah think ah see something. Can you blow the photo up? More? Thank you.
Effie examines the enlarged photo.
Effie: Hmmm.
Effie points to the woman in the photo (not Shego). The woman has a red beehive hairdo.
Effie: Mr. Rabbit, can you identify the woman in this photo?
Rabbit: No.
Effie: Anyone?
Skunk: No.
Beaver: Not at all!
Birds: Tweet.
Effie: Well, ah can. That's the defendant's mother! A woman who has never been in involved in any criminal activity!
The crowd murmurs.
Effie: This was in May? Do you know what date?
Rabbit: Dates aren't a forest-type thing.
Effie: Then ah'll tell you - it was Mother's Day! Do you know what they're holding?
Skunk: Baskets?
Effie: Yes. Specifically, picnic baskets! And picnics attract ants. Do you know what's used to repel ants?
Beaver: Fish?
Birds: Tweet?
Effie: Ultrasonics. Which would come from a sonic disruptor! So everything in those photos have an innocent explanation! Drakken was on a Mother's Day picnic with his mother and had a sonic disruptor to keep the ants away, but he accidentally set it off at its highest setting. Possible, yes?
Rabbit: I- I suppose so!
Skunk: It's one explanation.
Beaver: Yes, I see how one could come to that conclusion.
Birds: Tweety tweet!
Effie (sing song voice): So you agree - there’s something there - that wasn’t there - before!
Animal Gallery (singing Chorus): Oh yes, there’s something there that wasn’t there before!
Kim (to Iago the Parrot): Um, what’s going on? Why are they singing?
Iago: This happens a lot when human females hang around us animals.
Ron: And you just go along with it?
Iago: Eh. Why not? Never really thought about it before.
Fox (sing song voice): Stop! Not so quick! You expect us to believe - it was a picnic?
Effie sings and dances (twirls) in front of the animal gallery.
Effie (singing): See-ing - Be-liev-ing - In my heart I know what’s true!
Animal Gallery (singing Chorus): In her heart she knows what’s true!
Drakken: Stop! Stop singing! If I’m on trial for my life, I won’t have it demeaned by, by singing!
Effie stops singing and returns to the defendant’s table. She looks shocked.
Effie: Uh, Kim, was ah singing?
Kim: Yeah, you were.
Ron: And dancing. Don’t forget the dancing!
Effie: Oh no! I’m so embarrassed! Please don’t tell anyone!
Kim: Is there a problem?
Effie: It would ruin my rep! If potential clients found out ah sung, they might also learn ah did 3 years summer stock while in college!
Ron: That doesn’t sound so bad.
Effie: It was musical theater!!
Kim: Gasp!
Ron: Whoa.
Kim: ‘Ice in her veins’, huh, Ron?
Ron: Well…definitely chilled.
Fox: The prosecution calls Tyrone Raccoon to the stand.
Ron (thinking): Tyrone Raccoon. Why does that name sound familiar?
Ron(excited): Oh yeah! I know where we met him! Remember that mission where we found out Rufus was having save the world adventures on his own, without us?
Kim: I remember.
Kim stares at Rufus.
Kim: Those were the good old days, when that’s ALL he was doing without us!
Ron: Kim, are you still upset Rufus didn’t tell us about his family?
Kim: It’d be nice if he kept us informed!
Ron: Kim, Kim, Kim, I’m sure this is all our fault!
Kim: OUR fault?? How is it our fault??
Ron: If we had shown more of an interest in Rufus’ personal life, I’m sure he would have told us! Why, I bet if we asked him right now, the little guy would tell us all about his extracurricular activities!
Kim looks at Rufus. Rufus sweats.
Kim: Oh. Really?
The raccoon approaches the bench. He’s wearing a striped, prisoner uniform and handcuffs.
Ron: Ooh! Wait, Kim! They're starting!
Rufus wipes his brow.
Rufus: Whew!
Fox: Tell us, Mr. Raccoon, of your relationship with Dr. Drakken.
Raccoon: Everything I am I owe to that man! He gave me the means by which we shall strike back at our oppressors!
The animal gallery erupts in scattered cheers and applause.
Animals: Whoo hoo! Yeah!
The judge bangs his gavel.
Judge: Order!
Fox: Isn’t it more accurate to say he gave you the means to commit your crimes, crimes which you have been duly convicted of?
Raccoon: That is the view of the powerful, yes.
Fox: Thank you. Your witness.
Ron: Ooh! Oh oh! Let me do it!
Effie: You can refute his testimony?
Ron: Oh yeah!
Effie: Then go ahead.
Kim: I don’t think that’s such a good idea.
Effie: Kim, ah’m beat. Besides, it’s a simple cross-examine. What can go wrong?
Kim: That’s what I’m afraid of.
Ron: So, Mr Raccoon…
Raccoon: Hello, Ronald. Future servant.
Ron: Let’s start with…what did you call me?
Raccoon: Ronald. And you can call me Ty.
Ron: Okay, ‘Ty’! Wait…Tyrone Raccoon. ‘Ty Coon’? Uh uh, no way I’m calling you that!
Raccoon: You will, in time.
Ron: That’ll be the day! Now then, is it not true that you stole your world-conquering machinery from Dr. Drakken?
Raccoon: Stole. Borrow. Acquire. For those of us without power, it’s all much the same thing. But the fact remains, if Drakken had not made it available, I never would have been able to use it.
Ron: And is it not true that you forced other animals, groundhogs and naked mole rats in particular, to name only a few, to aid you in your scheme?
Raccoon: Sigh. The life of a revolutionary is not always easy. Some sacrifices must be made. I was doing what I must to stand up for my people.
Ron: You were doing nothing of the kind! You were feeding your fat gullet!
Raccoon: I had to do something! You humans fired the first shot when you let the giant roaches take our feeding ground, the Middleton dump, from us!
Ron: Oh, now it’s our fault!
Raccoon: It was the Sudetenland all over again.
Ron: What?
Raccoon: History, Ronald. When the Allies gave away land that wasn’t theirs to give, thus turning their enemies’ predatory ways towards a third party?
Ron: I must have been absent that day.
Raccoon: Do they teach you nothing in that holding pen called Middleton High?
Ron: Hey! Don’t insult my school! And is it not true you conspired to take all the Bueno Nacho for yourself?
Raccoon: Yes, that is true. I did try to take over Bueno Nacho, and, in fact, all of your most popular fast food establishments. For one day we will be free and it is you who will serve us Bueno Nacho!
Ron’s very angry and has to be restrained by the guards.
Ron: NO! You’ll never take Bueno Nacho from us!! Never!!
Effie: What? Did ah miss something?
Kim: Ron’s a big, big fan of Bueno Nacho. BIG. He even invented the naco.
Effie: The naco? That was his? Wow. I’d keep a close eye on him, if I were you.
Kim (concerned): I know!
Tyrone Raccoon is led away by the guards. Animals cheer.
Raccoon: Viva la revolucion! No more garbage cans forever!
Ron slinks back to his seat.
Ron: Dirty, lousy, Bueno Nacho stealing raccoon!
Shego: Way to start a human/animal war, Stoppable!
Kim: Hush, Shego! Ron, are you okay?
Ron: Sorry to let you down, KP!
Kim: No, you-you did fine! You discredited his testimony against Drakken, so that was good. Right?
Kim looks for support from Effie, Drakken, Shego. They all look away.
Kim: Sighhh.
Effie: It’ll be okay, Kim.
Kim: How can you say that?
Prosecutor Fox: The prosecution rests, your honor.
Effie: Because now it’s our turn!
Scene 7 - The defense of Drakken begins.
Defense Attorney Effie M. Bondie: Looks like you'll get a chance to redeem yourself, Ron!
Ron: Huh?
Effie: The defense calls Ronald Stoppable to the stand.
Ron: Me? How can I..?
Effie: Just answer the questions, Ronald. Now then, you spent a Christmas with the defendant, correct?
Ron: Oh yeah! We had cupcakes and sang Christmas carols!
Effie: We?
Ron: All of us! Me, Kim, the Possibles, Drakken, Shego.
Flashback to A Very Possible Christmas.
Drakken sings: Hey gang, it's not the turkey and the stuffing.
Or the gifts around the tree
Ron sings: It's a warm and fuzzy feeling
that begins with you and me
Drakken sings: So put away those petty problems, and
Both Drakken and Ron sing: Embrace your fellow maaaaaan
And join the celebration
all across this wonderful land
The whole group celebrates/sings: Have a ringaling jingaling Kris Kringaling Christmas!
Have a hopalong singalong happy holiday!
And when the snow starts glistening
we'll hoist a hearty cheer
Snowman Hank joins in.
for the rootinest tootinest hi-falutinest
favorite time of year! Yee-ha!
End flashback.
Shego: Yah! Why does he have to include me in this! I was trying - and succeeding - in forgetting that!
Drakken: You're not the only one who's worried about his rep, Shego!
Shego: Hello? They're supposed to be trying to defend you!
Effie: So his take over the world schemes took a holiday on Christmas?
Ron: Yes.
Effie: What's your opinion of Drakken? As evil as they say?
Ron: Haven't thought about it. Not so evil, I suppose. I mean, he did like Snowman Hank!
Effie: Thank you, Mr. Stoppable. Your witness, Fox.
Prosecutor Fox: Mr. Stoppable, was there anything else the defendant, Drakken, said at this temporary break from his quest to take over the world?
Ron: Not following. Sorry.
Fox: Perhaps if I refresh your memory. Did he not say that, after the new year, and I quote, "I'm going to open a bag of freak on all of you!"?
Flashback to A Very Possible Christmas.
Drakken: Of course, once we enter the new year, the truce is over!
I'm going to open a bag of freak on all of you!
End flashback.
Ron: Where do you get this stuff?
Fox: Answer the question, Mr. Stoppable.
Ron: Well, he might have said something like that.
Fox: Need I remind you that you're under oath?
Ron: Okay. Yes, he did say that.
Fox: Thank you.
Ron goes back to the defense table. He's dejected.
Ron: Sorry, KP! I know how much this means to you.
Kim: You did great, Ron! It's not your fault. You have to give truthful testimony.
Ron: What I don't get is how Fox knew all that! It's almost as if...
Ron spies Drakken winking at Fox.
Ron: Hey! You better not be helping the prosecution!
Shego: Lay off, Stoppable! Even Dr. D isn't that dumb! Are you?
Drakken: Please! The buffoon is mad because he failed again, as usual!
Ron: If I'm defending you, you better call me by my name! Or, Kim or no Kim..!
Kim: Ron! Dial it down!
Drakken: Of course, Ronald! After all, we are old buddies, aren't we? Perhaps you'd like to sing a few songs together? My Ronnie lies over the ocean, my Ronnie lies over the sea...
Shego giggles.
Ron: Yeah. Ha ha. Very funny.
Drakken: Shego, do you know what Ronald would be called if he was dizzy?
Shego: What, Dr. D?
Drakken: Veer-ronica!
Drakken pantomines flailing from side to side.
Shego: Ha ha ha!
Ron sulks.
Ron: It was better when he wasn't using my name!
Kim: Real mature, Doc!
Effie: Playtime's over. Shego. Witness stand. Now.
Shego: Me? Are you serious?
Shego on the witness stand.
Effie: I understand you have proof Drakken isn't evil.
Shego: I do?
Effie looks at her transcript/notes.
Effie: Yes. There was a supervillain convention, with a badness meter...
Shego: Oh, right! I remember now. Almost as if it were yesterday...
Flashback to Bad Boy. Drakken tests his evilness.
Drakken: Oh look! Test your badness level!
Drakken tries the device. The badness level rises on the machine.
Drakken: Hah! Feast your eyes on that!
Jack Hench: Huh! Playground bully.
Drakken (baffled): What ground, what what?
Shego tries the badometer. It rises to the top and dings.
Shego: Face it Dr. D! You're not as bad as you think!
Drakken: You mean - I'm not evil?
Shego: Unpleasant. Annoying. But evil? Not so much.
End flashback.
Effie: So Dr. Drakken's unpleasant. Annoying. A playground bully. But not evil?
Shego: You got it!
Effie: Not evil, and hardly deserving of the 'severest penalty'! Thank you, Shego! That will be all. Your turn.
Fox: Thank you. Now, Miss Shego..? Is 'She' your first name, and 'Go" your last? Or is 'Shego' your first name, and something else your last name, such as 'Pryzbylowski'? Or...
Shego gets mad. Her restraints start to glow as her plasma is activated inside them.
Shego: It's just Shego, alright? One name. That's it!
Fox: Fine. Shego it is. Can you tell me what Drakken does every Friday night?
Shego: I don't know. Karaoke?
Fox: Yes. And how would you describe his performance? Good? Bad?
Shego: If this is all you got, Fox, you might as well give up now!
Fox: Oh, I have more. Now answer the question.
Shego: Okay, it's bad! Satisfied?
Drakken: Gasp! Shego! Your words hurt!
Shego: Yeah. Yeah. Too bad, Doc! 'Under oath' and all that! Besides, I'm evil, remember? I'm supposed to say things like that!
Fox addresses the jury.
Fox: Lady and gentlemen of the jury. Bad karaoke. Is there anything more evil than that?
Shego: I can think of a few things.
Fox: I'm sure you can. Such as...yourself!
Shego: What?
Fox: I direct the jury's attention to the Animal's Exhibit A.
Fox puts onscreen a photo of Team Go, back in the day. Hego, Mego, Wego and a smiling Shego pose for the camera.
Shego: Where did you get that??
Fox:: Internet. Let the record show Shego was good once, a hero who nobly fought the war against evil - until she met Dr. Drakken!
Shego: That's not true!
Fox: Which part? Do you deny you were good once, and a hero?
Shego: N-no.
Fox: So you WERE good once?
Shego: Yes, damn you!
Fox: Language! So you deny what, that Drakken turned you evil?
Shego: Yes! He wasn't responsible for that!
Fox: I see. Care to tell us how that happened?
Shego: I...No.
Fox: Drakken's twisted her so she can't even talk about it! Thank you, Shego! It's been a pleasure!
Effie: Objection, your honor! Speculation unsupported by the facts! Ah'm just an old country lawyer, but even ah know...
Judge Liverlips McGrowl: And I'm just an old Country Bear! Overruled! If you want to dispute Prosecutor Fox's statements, Ms. Bondie, I suggest you get to it with your witness!
Effie: Er, yes, your honor! Now, Shego, we need to know what happened. How did you turn evil? Did Drakken have anything to do with it?
Shego: Believe me when I say, it wasn't his fault.
Effie: But, Shego, we need proof! A man's fate is in the balance.
Shego pauses, looks at Drakken, responds to Effie, then looks down.
Shego: I...I don't talk about this subject. Ever. With anyone. Sorry, Doc.
Effie: I see. Thank you, anyway, Shego.
Shego goes back to the defense table. Ron stares at her.
Shego: What are you staring at, sidekick?
Ron: You. Why do you stay with Drakken, anyway? Why are you here? I don't get you at all!
Shego: There's nothing to 'get', you simple-minded..!
Kim: Ron! Quit antagonizing members of our defense team!
Ron: What? It’s just a simple question!
Kim: Ron, if Shego won't answer, she must have a good reason! Right, Shego?
Shego: Blow it out your ear, Kimmie!
Kim fumes.
Effie: Stop fighting! We need to decide what to do next!
Ron: That was all the defense you had?
Effie: On such short notice, yes.
Kim: Why don't I testify?
Effie: Ah don't think that's such a good idea, Kim! You witnessed most of Drakken's bad acts. If you go on the stand, Fox will bring all of that up and puree' our client!
Kim: But-but...
Fox: What's the matter, Miss Possible? I thought you could do anything, but you can’t defend Dr. Drakken?
Kim: You..!
Effie: Don't give in, Kim! He's just trying to goad you!
Kim: I know! But I've - I've never felt this useless!
Shego: Join the club! Drakken's club, I mean!
Drakken: Shego!
Shego: Relax, Doc! Just trying to loosen the tension! Seriously, what are we going to do?
Effie: We could argue mental state.
Ron: Yeah, he is blue! That could have affected his mind!
Shego: Not to mention the fact he keeps on trying to take over the world, even though a teen girl always beats him!
Kim: Speak for yourself, Shego!
Shego: Grrr!
Drakken (yells): No! I refuse! I am not crazy! I know everything I did and what's more, I'd do it all again!!
Shego: A little louder, Dr. D! I don't think the hibernating bears heard you!
Effie: Does anyone know if a glove is involved? Or if any of the animal law enforcers are speciesists?
Effie is greeted with blank stares all around.
Effie: Then ah've got nothing!
Kim thinks hard, then smiles.
Kim: I've got it! I know how to save Drakken!
Scene 8 - Kim jumps to the defense of Drakken and approaches the bench.
Kim: Your honor, I will prove Drakken can be a force for good!
Judge: Indeed? The court would look very favorably upon that. You may proceed.
Kim: But I can’t do it here. Our defense team needs to leave the courthouse to set up some things.
Prosecutor Fox: Your honor, I object! These grandstanding stunts have no place in a court of law!
Kim: Hey, I’m a cheerleader! Grandstanding stunts are what I do!
Judge: I’m the judge, Mr. Fox, and I’ll determine what I allow in my court! Overruled!
Fox: Yes, your honor.
Judge: You have your chance, Miss Possible. I suggest you use it wisely!
Kim: Will do! Thank you, your honor! You’re tough but fair!
Scene 9 - Kim, Ron, a shackled Drakken and his dog guard at a mountain mine. They're looking at a sensor chart that tracks objects in the mine by heat and movement.
Ron: Cool plan, KP! Using Drakken's nanoticks to deliver explosives to selected points in a mine or tunnel to blast them open and not endanger any people!
Kim: I try! Couldn't have done it without the good Doctor, though! Right, Doc?
Drakken: To think that I, Dr. Drakken, should have to lower myself in such a way!
Ron: It wouldn’t hurt you to show a little gratitude towards Kim for what she’s trying to do for you, you know!
Drakken: Bah!
Ron: Kim, he doesn’t even appreciate what you’re doing for him!
Kim: We’re not doing it for him, Ron!
Ron: We’re not? Then why are we here?
Kim: It’s the principle of the thing! Stand back while I activate the nanoticks! We can watch their progress on this heat and motion sensor screen.
Kim presses the button and several dots start moving on the screen.
Kim: There we go! Now we just wait for the booms!
Ron points to another collection of dots on the screen.
Ron: Uh, Kim, what's that?
Kim: I, I don't know!
Kim opens her Kimmunicator.
Kim: Wade, can you scan these other dots on our sensor screen?
Wade furiously taps away on his computer.
TapTapTappaTap
Wade: Best guess? It's a colony of rodents living in the cave!
Ron: That isn't the only thing! Look! The nanoticks are moving towards them!
Kim: The nanoticks must be following their 'tick' programming, so they're attracted to the rodent's warm, moving bodies!
Kim: Oh no! They're going to blow them up! Ron, we've got to move! Now!
Kim and Ron jump into a minecar and rocket down tunnels, going ever deeper into the mine.
Ron sees a poster on the tunnel wall for Rufus' Dance Party Featuring The Oh Ratz.
Ron: Huh. Well, he was a big hit at spring break!
Kim looks at her Kimmunicator. It's got the sensor screen on it. The nanotick dots are getting closer to the rodent dots.
Kim: Did you say something, Ron?
Ron: Uhh. No.
Kim: We don't have a lot of time! Do you have any cold liquids?
Ron searches through his backpack.
Ron: Hardly time for a drink, KP!
Kim: Ron!
Ron: I got some soda? Will that do?
Kim: It'll have to! Drench yourself with it!
Ron sprays the soda all over himself.
Ron: Okay. Ohhh! It's so sticky!
Kim: Don't be such a baby! Now, on my signal, jump and cover the rodents!
Ron: What about you?
Kim: I'll take care of the nanoticks.
The swarm of nanoticks converge on the rodents.
Kim and Ron's minecar hurtles down the tracks. Ahead of them, the nanoticks are on one side of the tunnel and the rodents (pack rats) are on the other side.
Kim: Jump, Ron!
Ron jumps out of the minecar and covers the pack rats with his cold, motionless body.
The nanoticks hesitate. Kim rockets towards them and activates her jet pack.
Ron: Uh, Kim, I thought we're not supposed to use those inside?
Kim: I won't tell if you don't!
As Kim passes the swarm of nanoticks, the heat of the jet pack and motion of the minecar attract them to her. They turn away from Ron and the rodents and race furiously after Kim, who's flying above the minecar and dragging it after her.
As Kim approaches the exit to the mine, the nanoticks get closer to her. The nanoticks start to beep as they activate their explosives.
Beep--Beep--Beep--Beep
When Kim reaches the exit, some of the ticks are on the ceiling just above, waiting for her. Their beeping gets more intense and closer together.
Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep
Kim: Gasp!
Kim steels herself and flies the minecar out of the mine.
Closeup on the Nanoticks as they drop onto her hot jetpack.
BeepBeepBeepBeep
There's an explosion in the air, above the flying minecar.
Kim's hair dryer grapple gun appears at the corner of the mine car. It fires, the grapple hooks around a tree limb, Kim sails out of the mine car, somersaults and nails the landing as the mine car crashes behind her, all to the music of Kim's action theme.
Music: Do Do Do Do Do
Do-Do-Do-Do-Doooo
Kim surveys at the wreckage of the mine car.
Kim: That could have gone better!
Ron appears. Rufus and the colony of pack rats are all over the sticky wet Ron, licking the soda off of him. Ron's dirty and has several rat hair strands stuck to his body.
Ron: Ya think?
Rufus: Yum! Tasty!
Scene 10 - Middleton Medical Center. Kim, Ron, shackled Drakken, dog guard and Mrs. Dr. Possible are in a patient's room. There are two beds. An awake patient is one bed, and a coma patient is in the other. Drakken sets up the brain switcher machine, putting a brain switch helmet over each patient.
Kim: This plan will work so much better than that other one!
Ron: No explosives. That's a plus!
Mrs. Dr. Possible: Are you sure, Kim? As a neurosurgeon, I have to say, it's not possible to switch brains!
Kim: Relax, Mom! Drakken's brainswitcher will put Mr. Gray's brain in his brother's comatose body, and vice versa! Then Mr. Gray will exercise his brother's body so it doesn't debilitate. It'll totally revolutionize physical therapy for coma patients!
Mrs. Dr. Possible: Okay, honey! If you say so!
Kim: It's a perfect plan! What could go wrong?
Drakken activates the brain switcher. It glows and hums.
Mrs. Dr. Possible removes the brain switch helmet from the coma patient.
Mrs. Dr. Possible: Mr. Gray? Are you there?
Mrs. Dr. Possible shines a light in the coma patient’s eyes.
Mrs. Dr. Possible: Hmmm. That's odd. He's not responding.
Everyone watches the coma patient. Suddenly, the other patient, the brother in Mr. Gray's real body, bolts upright in his bed.
Mr. Gray's brother: Huh?
Mr. Gray's brother sees his comatose body in the other bed, then sees he's in another body, freaks out and runs screaming out the door and down the hall.
Mr. Gray's brother: That's-that's me! W-what happened to me?? AHHHHHHHHHH
Kim holds her head. Ron looks apologetic. Drakken looks sheepish. Mrs. Dr. Possible is mad.
Kim: Oh no!
Ron: Why don't I go get him? He, uh, probably doesn't know his way around the hospital! Heh.
Scene 11 - Kim and Ron review a list of Drakken's inventions.
Kim: At least he's not going to sue! But I just don't get it!
Ron: I know what you mean, Kim! Why do hospitals even bother with consent forms if they're going to offer a settlement, anyway? And who knew coma patients could be traumatized? Or that it would cost so much?
Kim: What? No, Ron, I mean I don't understand why that didn't work! It should have.
Ron: Well, we have the list of Drakken's inventions. There has to be something here!
Kim: What do you have?
Ron: The cloner? Many hands make light work, KP!
Kim: And have more like the tweebs? No thanks!
Ron: The Bebes?
Kim: Deadly, super fast robots? Not even going to consider it!
Ron: The truth ray?
Kim gives Ron a look of disbelief.
Ron: Yeahhh, never mind! Ooh! The DoomVee! That's got to be cool!
Kim: Like that wouldn't go south on us!
Ron: You mean 'left turn'?
Kim: Whatever.
Ron: Brain Tap?
Kim: Are you serious?
Ron: Uh, one of his mind control devices? Maybe?
Kim: You mean like the silly hat?
Ron: Ooh, ooh! Intangibility! Remember that Aurora Orchid?
Kim: What of it?
Ron: To be invisible? Goth kids would love that!
Kim: Ron, Goths only ACT like they don't care! They WANT to be noticed!
Ron: Oh. Yeah. How about...the Dimensional Compiler?
Kim: What?? Oh, this is hopeless! Anything else?
Ron: Only...the Gravitomic. But isn't that a cappuccino maker?
Kim: You’re thinking of the Kinetic Modulator, but that was Dementor. And it made cocoa.
Ron: The Gravitomic! I remember now! When you and your boys were in detention!
Kim: They weren't 'my boys', Ron! But, yeah, I recall it now. Hmmm. This could work!
Scene 12 - Kim, Ron, dog guard and handcuffed Drakken in his flying saucer in the air. They operate the gravitomic ray and remove debris from a field.
Kim: It's working! This is great! The potential applications are enormous! Not only can it remove large amounts of material, it could be used for earthquake victim recovery...
Cut to a scene of the gravitomic ray lifting shattered homes and the victims pinned underneath. The floating victims are then removed from the debris by rescuers anchored to the ground.
Kim...skyscraper construction...
Cut to a scene of a gravitomic ray lifting girders from the ground and placing them 1000 feet in the air at the top of a skyscraper.
Ron: ...Open pit mining...
Cut to a scene of the gravitomic ray ripping a huge hole in the ground.
Ron:...Clearcutting of timber...
Cut to a scene of the gravitomic ray removing a forest of trees from the ground.
Kim: Ron!! Not too environmental!
Ron: It's like you said, KP! It's got a million uses!
Kimmunicator beeps.
Kim: What's the sitch, Wade?
Wade: Got an emergency message from Dr. West of the National Science Foundation! I'll patch him through!
Dr. West: Miss Possible? I understand you're testing a gravity ray?
Kim: Yes. So?
Dr. West: Turn it off! Immediately!
Kim: But, but, we...
Dr. West: When you activate the ray, it moves the planet closer to the sun!
Kim: Oh my! I'm so sorry! There! It's off!
Dr. West: Thank you. I think the damage can be contained.
Kim: I'm really, really sorry! We were only trying to...
Dr. West hangs up.
<CLICK>
Kim: Sighhh.
Scene 13 - Kim and Ron discuss what happened as the dog guard leads Drakken away.
Ron: So we warmed things up a little, Kim, and people got a bit more sun! No big!
Kim: Ron, we almost destroyed the world!
Ron: Well, there's that, too!
Kim (dejected): Oh, I should have known this would never work!
Ron: Really? Why is that?
Kim: Remember your cousin Sean and the Attitudinator?
Ron: Oh yeah! That rocked!
Kim: Remember when I said ‘you had a bad day’? You were a bad guy, Ron!
Ron: I was?
Rufus: Um hmm!
Kim: And Drakken was good! But he was better as a bad guy than as a good guy.
Ron: What?
Kim: He was less harmful as a bad guy than you were, so I changed you both back.
Flashback to Bad Boy. Kim, a good (non-blue) Drakken and Rufus. Kim talks on the Kimmunicator with Wade.
Wade: All of Drakken’s badness got transferred into Ron.
Kim: If we repair the Attitudinator and get Drakken and Ron to use it, that should reverse the process, right?
Wade: Hope so!
Drakken plays with Rufus the naked mole rat.
Drakken: Who's a chubby mole rat? Who's a chubby little mole rat?
Kim looks wistfully at Drakken playing with Rufus, then resumes talking to Wade on the Kimmunicator.
Kim: It also means Drakken will be evil again.
Wade: That’s the bad news!
Kim: Uh, Drakken, we’re going to need you to turn bad again.
Drakken: But I don’t want to be bad!
Kim: It’s better if you’re bad.
Drakken: Better?
Kim: Better than Ron being bad!
Drakken: So I’m better at being bad than your buddy?
Kim: No! But that’s good!
Drakken: So bad’s better if I’m bad?
Kim: Good! You got it!
End flashback.
Ron: Kim, what are you saying?
Kim: Only that Drakken wasn’t a very good good guy. That’s why I should have realized this wouldn’t work.
Ron: Oh, I get it now! That explains why you’re so gungho to defend Drakken!
Kim: What do you mean?
Ron: You feel guilty over returning him to his evil ways!
Kim: That’s ridiculous! I, I, well, sometimes I think I could have maybe handled it differently.
Scene's focus switches to Drakken and his dog guard.
Drakken: Hold on! I have to use the facilities.
Dog guard tries to follow Drakken into the porta-potty.
Drakken: Excuse me? You’re not seriously thinking of following me in here, are you?
Dog guard: Just don’t go anywhere!
Drakken: Where could I go? I’m shackled and on this ridiculous leash! You’re familiar with those, aren’t you?
Dog guard shocks Drakken with his electrostick.
Drakken: I I I I I I I I I I I I I
Dog guard: Two minutes! I’ll be around the corner on break!
Drakken finishes and leaves the porta-potty.
Drakken: Insufferable fools! Have they never heard of two-ply?
Drakken hears Kim and Ron talking on the opposite side of the porta-potty.
Drakken: Eh?
Ron: KP, you didn’t do anything wrong! You just restored Drakken’s mind. It’s up to him if he wants to do evil.
Kim: I know that! Still, I wonder.
Ron: Better not wonder in front of the judge! If they hear that Drakken was good until you turned him back to evil, they might blame YOU for his crimes!
Kim: Oh my gosh! I never thought of that!
Drakken: Hmmmm.
Scene 14 - Back in court, Kim’s down after failing with Drakken.
Defense Lawyer Effie M. Bondie: Kim, if you don’t mind me asking, why do you care so much?
Kim: I…
Ron: Kim’s not used to failure, Ms. Bondie. Especially in front of her father! This case will sure make family conversation at the dinner table a bit awkweird.
Effie: How so?
Ron: Since Mr. Dr. P’s known Drakken, well, Drew actually, for a long time.
Effie: Really?
Ron: Oh yeah! They go way back!
Effie: Interesting.
Effie goes back to studying the court transcripts.
Kim: Thanks for the save, Ron!
Ron: Always, KP! You know I’ve got your back!
Kim: I know! I couldn’t do this without you, Ron!
Kim hugs Ron.
Ron: Check that. And it’s not as if what I said was wrong.
Kim: Yeah, but dealing with my dad’s cake compared to…
Kim notices Drakken staring at her, but he just as quickly turns away.
Ron: What?
Kim: Nothing. Just a random thought.
Judge Liverlips McGrowl: Does the defense rest?
Effie: No, your honor. The defense calls Dr. James Timothy Possible to the stand!
The crowd murmurs lightly.
Prosecutor Fox: Objection, your honor! Jury tampering!
The crowd murmurs loudly.
Judge: Order! Order in the court! Counsel! My bench! Now!
Judge: You had best have a good explanation for this, Ms. Bondie! Appearances to the contrary, I do not run a zoo here!
Effie; Ah know that, your honor. Ah need Dr. Possible to testify for my client.
Fox: He’s on the jury, your honor! Such blatant jury tampering should go unrewarded!
Effie: Your honor, Dr. Possible was on the witness list before he was on the jury! So placing him on the jury constituted witness tampering, would it not?
Fox: I’ll see you disbarred for this!
Effie: Better than you have tried, Fox!
Judge: Enough! You absolutely need this witness?
Effie: Dr. Possible has known the defendant for many years. Therefore, his testimony is crucial to the defense of my client.
Judge: I’ll allow it. But this had better be good, Ms. Bondie! Objection overruled.
Fox seethes.
Dr. J.T. Possible on the witness stand.
Effie: You’ve known the defendant, Dr. Drakken, a long time, sir?
Dr. Possible: Yes. Since college. Although back then he was Drew Lipsky.
Effie: I see. Was he dangerous back then?
Dr. Possible: Only to himself!
Effie: He had no Doomsday Decimators or similar world conquering devices?
Dr. Possible: Oh no! He was pretty pathetic, actually! He couldn’t even make a simple robot!
We needed dates for the mixer, and…
Effie: That’s enough, sir. Tell me, Dr. Possible: Do you love your daughter, Kim?
Dr. Possible: Yes, of course I do!
Effie: For how long?
Dr. Possible: Ever since my wife gave birth to her and I saw her beautiful eyes! Oh, and she also has the cutest little birthmark right over here (points to upper thigh).
Crowd laughs.
Drakken and Shego giggle.
Kim: Dad! It’s bad enough you tell perfect strangers! Do you have to tell my archfoes, too?
Dr. Possible: Sorry, Kimmiecub!
Effie: Ahem! So you love your daughter and would do anything for her?
Dr. Possible: Yes!
Effie: And yet you allow her to face the defendant and his mad take-over-the-world schemes not once, not twice, but numerous times! Why?
Dr. Possible: He…I…
Pause
Effie: We’ll return to that question in a moment. Tell me, sir, has Drakken ever hurt your daughter? Broken leg, sprained ankle, singed eyebrow, bruised pinky?
Dr. Possible: No. Not that I’m aware of.
Effie: So, could it be that the reason you allow Kimberly to face Dr. Drakken time and time again is because, in your heart, you know the defendant is no threat to her?
Dr. Possible: I, yes, that’s true.
Effie: So your little Kimmiecub, whom you love more than anything, is just as safe battling Dr. Drakken and his ‘Doomsday Decimators’ in some faraway mountain lair as if she was in the warmth and comfort of home with you and your family?
Dr. Possible (surprised): Yes. That’s, that’s right.
Crowd is silent.
Rufus drops a pin.
Ron (Whispers): Rufus! Cut it out!
Effie: Thank you, sir. That will be all.
Fox: Prosecution declines to cross-examine.
Ron: Boo-yah! Score one for us!
Kim: Good job, Effie!
Effie: Ah try.
Shego: Wow. And Fox can’t cross-examine or he risks turning a member of the jury against him! That’s as evil as anything I’ve ever done!
Drakken stares straight ahead. He had either ignored the proceedings or treated them with contempt. Now he was speechless, and confused.
Scene 15 - The prosecution and the defense give their closing statements.
Prosecutor Fox: …His crimes? Indisputable. His evil? Undeniable. Your duty? Unquestionable! Guilty on all counts!
Defense Lawyer Effie M. Bondie: …And that, lady and gentlemen of the jury, is why the defendant Dr. Drakken, sad, miserable and pathetic he may be, is not dangerous, is not a threat to you and is most certainly not evil, and therefore deserving of leniency. Thank you.
Kim: Great wrap-up, Effie!
Ron: You almost had me believing Drakken knits baby booties in his spare time and saves little kittens. Juror No. 3 almost teared up!
Kim: Dementor?
Ron: He always was pretty emotional.
Judge Liverlips McGrowl: While the jury deliberates, this court will be in recess!
Ron: Oh goodie! Recess! Remember, KP? Good times.
Kim: It's not that kind of a recess, Ron!
Ron: Whatever. Time for snackage!
Ron empties his backpack on the table. The ferretmobile falls out, but no Bueno Nacho food.
Ron: What the? Oh man! In my hurry to pack, I forgot the food! No problemo! I'll just run to the Bueno Nacho here. You want anything, Kim?
Kim: Just some lemonade.
Ron: Sure! Back in a flash!
Ron leaves.
Drakken leans over to Kim.
Drakken: Kim? I need to talk to you. Alone.
Kim: Excuse me? I didn’t know we were on a first name basis, Doctor!
Drakken: Kimberly, don’t make this any harder! Miss Possible, please!
Kim: You’ve got two minutes, Drakken!
Kim and Drakken repair to a conference room where they can speak in private. The guard waits outside.
Drakken: Is it true what the buf-Ronald said out there? I was good and you changed me back to evil?
Kim: Well, it was a little more complicated than that, but yes.
Drakken: Why would you do that?
Kim: Because no one deserves to have some helmet thingy change them. Everyone has the right to be who they are, without some outside force controlling them! Even you, Doctor.
Drakken turns away from Kim.
Drakken (to himself, under his breath): Ah, Kimberly, you’re too good. You could have saved yourself so much pain.
Kim: What did you say?
Drakken turns to face Kim.
Drakken (louder): I said - (face changes to an evil grin) I wonder what the judge would say about your evil creation, hmmm? If I’m up for their ‘severest penalty’, I wonder what grisly sentence would befall you? It’d almost be worth it to go through all this to find out!
Kim: You-you wouldn’t!
Drakken: Try me!
Kim: I only tried to help you! I’m not responsible for your evil acts, you evil, evil man!
Drakken: Thank you for noticing! Now get back out there and restore my evil name while also sparing me from the rendering plant, or I’ll be sure to save you a spot on the floor next to me!
Kim leaves the conference room.
Drakken looks in the mirror.
Drakken: Et tu, Drakkus?
Wolf Bailiff: 30 seconds, pally! Show's almost over!
Drakken: Yes, yes, alright, Mr. ‘Fuzzy’! Showtime, indeed!
Kim goes back to the courtroom.
Effie: Why so glum, Kim? There’s a good chance we can win this thing!
Kim: It’s hard to explain. But even if I win, I could still lose!
Effie: You? The ‘girl who can do anything’?
Kim: Guilty as charged!
Effie: Kim, ah can’t imagine what’s going on in your head, but ah’ve had some tough cases in my time, such as Cruze vs. Cruze...
Kim: Wasn't that a divorce case?
Effie: Yes. What's your point? Anyway, ah've found there’s always a way to win. It may not be obvious. It could be uncovering hidden evidence, or convincing a recalcitrant witness to talk, or finding a loophole. It could be just about anything, but it’s there!
Kim (smiling): Thanks for the pep talk, Effie! I feel better already!
Effie: Really?
Kim (frowning): I wish. Sigh.
Effie: Kim, you have the biggest heart of anyone ah ever met. Listen to it.
Ron returns with food and drink.
Ron: They were out of lemonade, Kim, so I got you sodaaaa whoa!
Ron trips over the ferretmobile on the floor, splashing the soda in front of him.
Ron looks at the ferretmobile.
Ron: Huh? Where'd that come from? That wasn't...
Ron looks ahead.
The soda splashed on Drakken. He melts in front of everyone.
Shego, judge, lawyers, guards, crowd stare speechless as Drakken turns into a puddle of synthogoo.
Ron: Wow. That would be totally freaky if it weren't so cool!
Effie sees an opening and jumps up.
Effie: Your honor, I request immediate dismissal of the case as the defendant was an artificial being and also, as he does not exist.
Judge: Does the prosecution have any objection?
Fox: N-no, your honor.
Judge: Then I'll grant the motion, not on the basis of artificiality of being, but on obvious nonexistence. Case dismissed! Shavers, your services are no longer required.
Ron (to Iago the Parrot): Shavers?
Iago: Yeah! Losing all their fur or plumage, their very identity, is the worst thing that can happen to a talking animal!
Ron: That...was your 'severest penalty'? But I thought...?
Iago: What do we look like, a bunch of humans?
Ron: KP! We won! Well, sort of! I'll take it, in any case!
As guards escort the shackled Shego out of the courtroom and everyone - judge, lawyer, bailiff, gallery - file out, Kim, kneeling in the puddle of synthogoo that was once Drakken, palms his remains, the green goo dripping from her hands.
Kim: No. No no no no no!
Kim's in shock.
Ron: Kim..?
Lurker: And thus ends our first tale. Drakken may or may not be guilty of the crimes he’s alleged to have committed (if he even exists), but Kim? Her ‘crimes’ may be more ephemeral than Drakken’s, and indeed may only exist in her mind, but they are no less real to her. The verdict? The jury’s still out on that one. And what of I, gentle reader? Last seen, I was being chased by an angry mob. Whither my fate? A mystery, to be answered in the next installment of our epic The Last Kim Possible Story. Kim too, has a mystery she must solve. Join us, won’t you?
End Book One
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